What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Orange" "Oh, hey."

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A pussy walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bar keeper asks " why are you such a pussy!" The pussy then says, "it's not my fault I'm a cat!" before getting run over

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Why did the wife leave her husband? Because they were having sexual differences and time restraints. The husband worked nightshifts as a nurse while the woman stayed home and took care of their child. The husband confessed he never wanted a child in the first place, and that having sexual intercourse with her didn't truly satisfy him.

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e4ryka mcgyuire rode stephanie sinnott

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Why did the dog smile? It didn't. Humans are the only creatures on planet Earth capable of smiling, therefore, dogs are unable to smile.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It was hit by an oncoming motorist in a busy intersection.

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Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

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my friend is gay hes gay

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Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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What'sucks and white Jackson

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dick in your mouth just kidding haaaaaa

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poopoo

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What's black and white and red all over? A nazi flag

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Why did the Muslim enter the bar? He didn't.

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how did the monkey fall out of the tree he was stupid how did the monkey get a black eye he was hit by a bus how did the monkey end up in the sewer he got hit by another bus

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What do you get when you cross North Korea and the boston marathon? BOMBS! :(

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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.....Carrot Top....

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What did the pedophile say to the little girl? "I have a condition and I think it would be healthy for both of us if you stayed within the supervision of your parents"

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What is 2+2? 4!

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What's the difference between urinating on Lady Gaga and the american flag? It would be wrong to urinate on the American flag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops