Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Why did the Blonde say something stupid? Because she is stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +151

The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Backwards write to fun is it. As long as its forward. Emu

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +138

Once upon a time, there was a gorilla who found Suzie. Suzie was mauled because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +126

What is the difference between a cow and a pig? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yidi Huang lives here.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the color blind man cut the red wire and accidentally blew himself up and all the other people involved in the situation? Because he didn't know how to defuse a bomb.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. "Knock, Knock!" "Who's there?" "Not Sally"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

thumb_up thumb_down -158

Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops