Roses are red Violets are blue So is your face Cuz I just gagged you

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What does Patrick say? IM PATRICK!!! IM PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK!!!!! PATRICK!!!!!

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Random Guy: "Oh god, why was I born with so much common sense?" God: "You must be mistaken, or else you wouldn't be asking me."

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

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Q: What is the most common question among children? A: How are babies made?

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what is black and white and red all over.....a nun being murdered

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how many rapists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

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how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

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Women.

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Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

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What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

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If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

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Pickup line: Hey do you like flowers? Because you stole my flowers.

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What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a tomato.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What do you get when an elephant and a penguin have a baby? Dunno, it's seems highly improbable.

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What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

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How do you get an asian out of a rice field? Napalm.

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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Lol! Why you wanna know?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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