If you say woman really fast it sounds like make me a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why do i want to get raped because then its not rape

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: You know what's better and funnier than reading all these jokes A: GLEE and thats like singing and dancing :p JK it HAPPy tree friends LOOK IT UPPP!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Black man, a Mexican, and a Midget, get in a car. They drive to the county fair and get snow cones and have a really fun time.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out it's an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down

If you're reading this, you can read.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the batmobile? Robin, get in the batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down

babe whos moaning? are you with another woman? guy:god damn if you would stay in the kitchen we would never have any problems.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man enters a bar. Two minutes later, a woman leaves a bar. What happened? A man entered a bar and a woman left. What's there to explain?

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a black astronaut? It depends on what his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down

What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

thumb_up thumb_down

whats the difference between colby and a high schooler? Colby hasn't matured yet

thumb_up thumb_down

Ring Around The rosy, Pockets full of posey, Just kidding they are roofies and i'm going to rape you

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road Because you didn't fuking cook to -.-

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue Elephants cant jump Neither can amputees

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops