Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

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What is an Anti-Joke? This is.

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Why did the guy throw a clock out his window? Because he was mentally unstable and needs help.

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:O + :P = 69

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Why did Sally Drop here ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock Knock? *who's there* Not Sally.

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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What do you call a baby in a blender? The newest Doritos dip.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you came 'cause GameGrumps Fuck you.

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

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Dat ass, or dem titties? Your choice.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure Niiiiggggeeee what is the last letterThe last letter is NOT and R! Its an R. Good job honey

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A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

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Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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The answer: He is dead! (read it throughout so you cant go wrong) Question: So why cant a man in Italia marry his widows sister? Moral: Had yet to read one like this one...

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why couldn't the one armed man juggle because it was snowing outside and his one room flat was to small

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Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

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democracy

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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