Why did Hitler commit suicide? He looked at his gas bill.

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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If you say woman really fast it sounds like make me a sandwich.

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If 1 + 2 = 3 Then, what does 2 + 1 equal? It equals 3 due to the fact that reversing the order of numbers does not change the outcome of the equation :D

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what did the crippled boy get for christmas? cancer.

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Q: Why did the Klansman go up to acclaimed rapper and television star, Flavor Flav, and say "Do you know what time it is, boy?" A: Because his trademark "bling" seems to be an actual functioning time piece. Q2: Why did that same Klansmen brutally murder Flavor Flav after he learned it was 5:46 in the pm? A2: Becasue Flavor Flav is black and that's kinda what you're expected to do in the Klan...

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Knock Knock whose there your biological parents REALLY No

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

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Chuck Norris' punch is so powerful that is falls on the downward slope of the bell curve for punch force of adult males.

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Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Cassidy's a whore so open the door.

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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A: Knock, Knock! B: Who's there? A: Boo B: Boo, who? A: Don't cry, it's only me!

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George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

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Four Iraqis played hide and seek 17 years ago, one of them missing, why? he's still hiding.

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" Hey you have something on your face. " ( man speaking punches the guy he was talking to ) " It was pain."

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What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? bullshit!!

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You

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

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Why did the Jew die? Because Hitler was born...

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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