"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

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What did nike say to addidas? Hi

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What's black and blue and red all over? I don't know, that's why I was asking you.

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What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

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I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

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what do u call a black man a black man

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A guy asked his Girlfriend to marry him. She said Hey! a Dump Truck! and the mental Boyfriend forgot all about the Proposal and was amazed by the Dump Truck.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? You eat a pizza.

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What's black, blue and smells like fish? A dead penguin.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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A man enters a bar. Two minutes later, a woman leaves a bar. What happened? A man entered a bar and a woman left. What's there to explain?

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Roses are red Violets are blue My friend has diabetes Stop posting diabetic jokes

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How did the Jew his German neighbor? Every morning the Jew says hello and the German replys hello

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Q:Whats worse than a worm in apple? A:The Holocaust. Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Were both lawyers! :D Q: What happens when you throw a purple rock in to a green river? A: It splashes

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because you didn't fuking cook to -.-

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There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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Knock Knock Whose there. Mike Mike seriously I told you to stop coming here or ill call the police But I just wanted to talk to you Ok thats it im calling the police

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the batmobile? Robin, get in the batmobile

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Billy's alarm clock went off at 8:00 AM but Billy was really tired but still his Dad forced him to go to school.

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What was everyone doing in the library? Reading

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The 13th Amendment...

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Woman's rights.

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Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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