A girl talks to her boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

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What is the best part about football The scoring

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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your moms tits are so big she may have breast cancer she may have breast cancer which takes approximitely 300,000 lives per year

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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Whats black, blue, and doesn't like sex? The little boy in my trunk.

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How do you keep a black man from robbing your house? Lock your doors, or perhaps get a update-to-date security system.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Q: How do all 5 gay guys walk? A: In One Direction

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Why do people read Bibles? To learn about God.

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What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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24

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What do you call a black man with cancer? A very unfourtunate man.

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Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

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Why did the black man break a woman's ribs? Cardiovascular resuscitation is an emergency procedure often used outside of hospitals to revive unconscious individuals before medical professionals are able to intervene. Sometimes having your life saved comes at a cost.

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so little jonny was doing bad in school like always so he decided to drop out and now he cant get a job and will have a terrible life and die alone

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so a horse walks into a bar right, and he goes up to the bartender, and the bartender being a smartass says why the long face(get because hes a horse), and the horse says his wife is dying of lung cancer, child services are taking his kids away , and im addicted to crack and that is why i have a long face the bartender then gives him the next round for free and the the horse dies of alchohol poisoning

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WNBA

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what did the fish say when he was eaten by a shark nothing fish cant talk

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Why did the boy laugh? Mr Tickle was his babysitter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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