Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

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A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

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Why did the chicken sneeze? Because someone put pepper on its nose.

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Silly Sally Dillydallied then lost her job to outsourcing.

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motley crew

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What has legs but can't walk? A paralyzed man.

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A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican.

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What did the boy who got picked on everyday do? He took the bullies advice and killed himself.

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How do you make a baby float? 1 can root bear 2 scoop baby

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Guess what? No.

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A dolphin walked into a bar, wait. . . dolphins can't walk, or go to bars.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm your stalker, welcome to my deserted warehouse.

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How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

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How many testicles did Adolph Hitler have? Two.

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What's worse than having amnesia? I don't remember.

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Q: Whats red and circular? A: A red circle

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I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white Stop stereotyping roses, already.

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Why did Kelliintheraw get punched in the face? Because she is a dumbass

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why couldn't she get back up? She blew up

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Matty B

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was John Elway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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