I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb 500 , 1 to hold the lightbulb, 499 to spin the house

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A giant watermelon falls on a man He's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Where do you find a one-legged cat? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happens when you divide by 0? Sadly, you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Where's Waldo? It is impractical to search for him because he's just going to get lost on another page once you find him. You assume he was murdered and get on with your life.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the cat say to the dog? - meow!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar. After several hours of drinking and loud unintellegable outbursts to those around him, the man wonders off to a nearby bus stop and relieves himself. He is now a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the T-Rex always sad? He couldn't clap his hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There are two hippos in a bathtub, one says to the other, "pass the soap." the other hippo says, "no soap, radio."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Ever see a man say goodbye to a shoe? Yes, once.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the boy wearing pyjamas? It was his bed time.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why don't women need watches? Because they probably have a cell phone, which works just as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What sauce do chicken's hate? Bone suckin' sauce

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

thumb_up thumb_down +12

- kellen says to bill "your a fruit cake" - bill say to raj "your a gypsy" - raj says to kellen "you have gingevitis" R.I.P kellen 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops