The police, we have several warrants for your arrest.

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Nothing it is a sentient object and doesn't have the capability to talk

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What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Well I dont think that has happened to anyone ever so I guess nothings worse.

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ROSS G IS OBESE

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You know how to torture Hellen Keller? -No. Put a plunger in the toilet.

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How many gay men does it take to change a lightbulb? Usually, it takes one gay male to complete this action.

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Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

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What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He got cancer.

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you know whats weird about italians? their italian

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock. who's there? well, its not suzie.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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Why did the bus crash? Because the driver was a watermelon.

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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A Girl Who was very close to er grandmother got a text from her mom who was very new to texting, she thought lol meant "Lots Of Love" wel it turns out the Girl's Grandmother Passed away Sunday Morning And the Mom sent the text to the girl saying " Your Grandmother Got hit by a truck and died lol" the Girl Killed Herself that night becasue Of her mom, LESSON LEARNED< LEARN HOW TO TEXT.

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Horton Hears... Rape and violence and doesn't do anything about it.

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Whats worse than a gay pride parade? Genocide.

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What's the difference between Hitler and shit? Shit has a shower in the morning.

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Can you get me a stapler,make sure it has staples because if it doesn't..........I won't be a ble to staple anything

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What does ms colot like to eat? Pants

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If you're happy and you know it - put your hands in the air i have a gun.

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why was little johns' stomach in discomfort? because his mom accidently gave him mercury for breakfast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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