What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

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Whats worse than being a student? Being raped.

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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Stephen Walking.

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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Why was the man sleeping. He was tired

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

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There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

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a black man a chinese man and a mexican man are all on a plane. they land safely and continue with their lives.

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What is dangerous when eaten? My grandmother's cooking?

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jelly ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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What did the boy have for lunch? A sandwich.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot, racist.

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the comment about daniel was fron brock

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You momma's so ugly your dad left her.

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what do u call a black person by his name

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WHat did REAAAALLLY Jesus say when, walking on, wat, er?, Will somebody please get me of this floating piece of ice? Please? Stop screaming HALLELUJAH! People: HALLELUJAH!

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what is pink and fishy? pink fish.

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A cow was very inconveniently standing in the middle of a golf course. An alligator dragged the cow into a swamp. The cow dies

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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