A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

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Q:How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could would A: 26

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What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

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What's white and likes to likes to take frequent jogs? Stephen Hawkings, I meant so say remain motionless

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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what did the black guy say to his friend who was on acid? man you trippin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being herded into a slaughter house to be killed, then packaged and shipped out to restaurant venders all across the country.

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women's rights.

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What did the boy have for lunch? A sandwich.

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Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? She was making sure there was enough sugar in it in case her diabetic son was to have an attack.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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wanna here an anti joke scroll down

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What did the Muslim say to the Sikh? "Hello. Lovely weather today."

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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what do outgoing girls get on spring break? raped.

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What did the kid use to smell his food His nose

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Why did the white man cry? Because his mistress, Shanghai, was threatening to tell his wife that they were in a relationship and, out of anger, he bashed Shanghai's head in and she is dead,

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A man walk into a bar. He then falls down, quickly picks himself up, and continues his life.

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A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

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why was your family so sad? because you died due to your uncle's son's cousin urinating all over you as a baby causing you to sting yourself continually. did i mention you were born as a scorpion while your family members were all human beings making them neglect and throw you away in their trash when you would always climb out. your family secretly hid affection for you. back to the beginning. when you died everyone in the whole world except bill cosby got cancer at the exact moment you died, but years later (because bill cosby is immortal), he got down syndrome after everyone who was alive during your death died. that is why he goes doo dop bip babbity today.

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How many dead kittens can you fit into a trunk? -19

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justin bieber

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Why doesnt the ladder work? A ladder is an inaminent object therefore imcapable of having a job.

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What do you call a black man with no education? An unfortunate outcome of our meritocratic society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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