two blondes walk into a bar... to get to the other side

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whats is big, black, and has big boobs. a big black guy. the boob part was a little white lie

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After filling her car up with gas, a woman leaves the gas station with the pump still attached to her car. Why did this happen, you ask? It was a silly mistake anyone could have made.

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what glows blue and howls at the moon at midnight? I dont know but i had sex with your mother.

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Q; Why to did the chef jump off of a cliff wearing an Elmo suit? A; Because he felt like it. It;s a free country

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*knock knock* Who's there? *Gorilla* Gorilla who? *Gorillas don't hoot, owls hoot*

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If you stretch all your skin out in a line, you will die of blood loss or possible infection

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What did Joan of Arc have for her last meal? Steak

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Why did the chicken cross the road? "THE chicken" indicates a definite article, you really would have to specify which chicken you're talking about so i can identify whether i was there at the given moment that the chicken tried to cross the road and to ask it his reason for attempting it.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

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a man walks into a bar, and gets mauled by a bear..... and gets a concussion

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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A blonde walks into a bar... Typical

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken crossed the road accidentaly as chickens are absent minded.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The IRS. You didn't pay your taxes so we have to take you to jail.

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What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

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I look back at all those hours I wasted playing those stupid video games, but then I'm reminded of all those people I brutally killed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops