Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Everybody leaves except Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson never walked out alive

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What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

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How often does a black women poop? Every nine months.

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Poop

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 1027

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Q.If you are European in the bathroom, what are you in the kitchen? A. A woman.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts. What's invisible and smells like rabbit farts? Carrots, if you're blind.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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There women are stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

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What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

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Gianni

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Obamacare haters

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Whats worse than The Holocaust? TEN HOLOCAUSTS!!!!

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Can you get me a stapler,make sure it has staples because if it doesn't..........I won't be a ble to staple anything

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Why was the Black Panther upset? Because racial tensions were high in the 60s.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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