How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Chuck Norris didn't count to infinite twice. He can't even do it once.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar and says "Ow".

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock. Who's there? Dr. Dr who? Dr Johnson. I'm afraid you have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the German say the the Jewish man? "Hello, nice to meet you."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my D***

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A cow was very inconveniently standing in the middle of a golf course. An alligator dragged the cow into a swamp. The cow dies

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck would? Probably a lot of wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats worse then being raped? Nothing it will ruin your life.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

vbh

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why was the girl sleeping on the ground? because she was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do you call a boomerang that never comes back? stick

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two Jews walk into a bank. They make a deposit and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

24

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's sad about an old black woman being hit by a Porsche? She was my third grade English teacher, and had a huge impact upon my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

your a towel.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why? Because!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops