Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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what do black men and vending machines have in common? neithier work and they both steal your money

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What's purple and gross? Purple gross stuff

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I pooped my pants

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Q: whats up? A: radiation levels in japan

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A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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How often does a black women poop? Every nine months.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 1027

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Poop

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What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Everybody leaves except Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson never walked out alive

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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How do you drown a blond? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool!

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The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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There women are stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

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Obamacare haters

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Gianni

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Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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