A boy found a nickel on the street. So he went to the ice cream shop and bought a gumball with the nickel.

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Q: how do you crush a Chinese man's dreams? A: tell him he is worthless and will never prosper.

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Why did the black man break a woman's ribs? Cardiovascular resuscitation is an emergency procedure often used outside of hospitals to revive unconscious individuals before medical professionals are able to intervene. Sometimes having your life saved comes at a cost.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

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Why did the little boy fall of his swing? Some one killed him.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What does an owl and a mole have in common? They both live underground, apart from the owl

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Knock knock, Who's there? To get to the other side

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What do you call someone allergic to water ? Waterproof

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1 leaves because no one is answering the door

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Why did the tomato blush? Because it began to ripen.

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A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

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What is black and white and red all over? Yemen's national flag.

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A black baby dies and goes to Heaven. When god put wings on him the baby sais, "Ahh gee god am I an angel?" Then god sais, "Nahh nigga you a bat."

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How do you know this is an Antijoke? Its on anti-joke.com

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Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie? Tickets were sold out.

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What do you get when you cross North Korea and the boston marathon? BOMBS! :(

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Worst joke to tell an orphan. Knock knock. Who's there. Not your parents

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Do you know why children in Africa don't read Harry Potter too much? Because they can't read.

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You

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Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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Why must you never cross an elephant with a human being? It is impossible anyway.

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They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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A blonde and a brunette are out for drinks. The brunette goes home early as she has to be up the next day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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