What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you....you pull the pin and trow it back

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why couldn't she get back up? She blew up

If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

an englishman an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar there was no welshman. they didn't phone him due to his uncontrollable thirst for violence

Okay on a scale Casey Anthony to Jerry Pandusky how much do you love your kids?

A guy has cancer. He dies.

A blonde, a brunette and a red head engage in a discussion on World politics. The brunette says she would like to see politicians paying more attention to the environment. The red head says she would like to see improvements in the economy. The blonde says she has to poop.

What do you call 6 dead people on your front lawn? A mass murder

A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

Knock knock. Come in.

An Ethiopian field worker goes into work one day and finds out he was fired. Agriculture in Ethiopia is bad because it doesn't rain much.

my namew is jd

2 snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... ba dooom chesh

Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

There were two oranges in a bowl. One orange said to the other "Hello my orange friend". The other orange screamed because he did not know oranges could talk.

There are two hippos in a bathtub, one says to the other, "pass the soap." the other hippo says, "no soap, radio."

Why didn't the blonde make it in a gun circle? The blonde yelled "Fire"

What is funnier than a barrel full of clowns? The holocaust.

why did the baby start crying? someone threw a brick at it

What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 'Cause 7 slept with 8 and punched 4 in the face.

knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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