Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar...

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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How do you get an asian out of a rice field? Napalm.

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anti jokes aren't always funny on here

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Whats worse than 12 babys stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 12 trees!

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What's the difference between a cake and Jews? A cake comes out of the oven.

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what did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur nothing dinosaurs can't talk

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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A Black man, a Mexican, and a Midget, get in a car. They drive to the county fair and get snow cones and have a really fun time.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? 3.

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What was the first thing the mother did when her baby was born? Weep. The baby was a was a stillborn.

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Whats worse than a Worm in Your Apple? Being raped

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why did the chicken cross the road cause he was suicidal but a car just didnt happen to hit him.

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A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

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How does a gay take his pants off? Just like everybody else

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? neither has he

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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Whats funnier then a dead baby? A lot of things.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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Why did the man stop chewing gum? I threw a grenade at him.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the appropriate amount of medicine as directed by her doctor for her condition.

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babe whos moaning? are you with another woman? guy:god damn if you would stay in the kitchen we would never have any problems.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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