- Anti Joke

How long does it take for a Jew to die being gased. Same as anyone else.

Q: how do you crush a Chinese man's dreams? A: tell him he is worthless and will never prosper.

1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

what do you call 6 black guys hung in a tree? a arazona wind chime

why did the grandpa drop his big mak??? Because an army tank hit him

Dissing the bible just 4 lols: Relax chill edition. -First, I have "crossed" the gaza desert ok? It took me seven minutes walking SLOWLY, yet with God as a guide Moses took 40 years? WHY? The desert was generally smaller then! -Eat my body and drink my blood and thy shall live eternally, I admit that eating well such as bread and a bit of wine daily is good for ya, thanks jebus points for you. But is eternity a number in the bible? Or does eating just bread and alcoholic wine truly grant one immortality? Nope sorry impossible. Buuuuuut, if a piece of Jesus brought immortality, then its canibalism, and the bible is meant to be followed to the letter, not symbolically. -Thy shall not steal: Jesus "borrowed" donkeys at random, his peeps asked but isnt that wrong? Jesus answered the lord shall give them a donkey anew. (so give me your car, God shall bring you another, you wont claim your little lord stole and lied huh? -Jesus murdered some tree because it gave him no fruit, you know at wintertime where trees do not bear fruit? Thy shall not kill unless thy are Jesus? -God: Drowned almost all= Worst serial killer ever? -Why do churches "the house of God" need money constantly? Is God that poor? -Only those that hate their mother and father might follow Jesus? While only those that love thieir parents can follow God? Well okay "new" testament is some sort of update like windows I get that... Kinda. .-When Jesus shouted "Father/Lord WHY!" while agonizing on the cross God answered with a lightning bolt? What kinda trucking answer is that? Poor poor Jebus. :( -God makes no mistakes, he just regrets creating humanity his greatest mistake? :( -God had existed forever right? One day he said let there be light, so he spent eternities in total and complete darkness? Aww man! -Why Is Satan the antichrist, he offered Jesus water at the desert, humans crucified tortured and killed him, talk about tossing blame the wrong way. -Humanity created Sin, God had to murder his own son in order to break Sin, do humans have power over God via Sin? -Jesus died in order to prove his immortality, okay, but why all the torture? What did that do? -At one battle the army was led by God holding a sword himself, but they had to retreat once they reached the mountains because the enemy carriages where plated with steel? God lost against steel? Ok Ok... -Jesus said on the cross that he would return, three days later he did, you waiting for his third coming? -The bible was changed by priests for the last time (for now) roughly hundred and fifthy years ago by priests? Why? Priest are to serve God, not to use his power for their own, fuck priest... -God clearly states that one shall not put any God before him, is he admitting that there are others, or that we can believe in others too as long as we dont allow our fait in them to surpass his? -Why is God a jealous God? Why do we follow a dude whose intentions "are shrouded in mystery?" How can THAT be the answer we seek? -Love thy neighbor: Which one? (lol). -Enough for now, except "eat only four legged animals such as the lobster (which has at least six legs, lol)

Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

Knock knock, Who's there? To get to the other side

Q:theres a man on a tight rope 3000 feet above ground and theres a man getting head from a 90 year old women with no teath. what did they both say? A: dont look down.

A priest walks into a bakers and asks for a loaf of bread , the baker asks "white or brown" the priest replies "it does not matter Sir I have my bike outside".

What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

Why are they the "living" daylights?

What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

Why did the Jewish boy grab his groin? Because he was just circumcised.

What's black and blue and red all over? A baby right after I kill it

1. Why did sally fall of the swing? -because she had no arms. 2.Knock Knock -Who's there? Not sally.

knock knock who's there Alec Baldwin I just raped your children ..........

"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

Whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

what do get when you blend zebra, a cow and a walrus? A not very good smoothie

A man was getting surgery on his knee and the surgeon accidentally left a knife in his leg. The man's leg was severely infected and he proceeded to die in the following weeks. His family will mourn this loss for years to come.

roses are red facebook is blue no mutual friends who the heck are you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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