What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

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What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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There women are stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

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Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

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why did the dog go inside the church? cuz the door was open.

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whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

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Obamacare haters

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Yesterday I was diagnosed with Depression... It made me sad.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because eating raw chicken is just wrong.

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Can you get me a stapler,make sure it has staples because if it doesn't..........I won't be a ble to staple anything

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What is the funny thing about suicide? nothing...

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gdfhtrfcgsexdfchrthgdfggfhtdtfhdtyfgfdfcghfgdyghhyrtfgrdfdffdtgdfgfghrthfg Alzheimer's.

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What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? Wait a week.

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Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

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whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? There are certainly innumerable differences, but, in general, humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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