What can Harry Potter NOT see with his glasses? His parents...alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do people read Bibles? To learn about God.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Boy: Mum... I got a hundred marks! Mother: That's good my son! Which subject was it? Boy: 30 for maths, 40 for english, and 30 for science.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A fat guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "the regular?" The fat man replies, "actually this time I wanna try something different."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. They all miss.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cos it wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happens when you stab yourself in the heart? You die.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Girl-Does this dress make me look fat? Boy-Hell yea you do, wait, let me speak your language...... Cows go MOOOOO -Ryan V

thumb_up thumb_down +9

JUSTIN BIEBER PERFUME!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between peanut butter and jelly ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops