where are you?

A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

So, North Korea is getting ready to nuke the US... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whats worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

Why was it sad that the kid was playing football? He had no arms and legs and he was the football.

The WNBA

AVB

Society.

What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

Knock Knock Who's there? A mormon *slam*

Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

What did the one legged girl do when her apartment caught on fire? She tried to hop to safety, but died of smoke inhalation.

if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

Roses are red Violets are blue Roses can also be white And violets can also be purple

What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

If a man has a gun, but no arms or legs, is he armed?

Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

A black man trips and falls down. You help him up and ask him if he needs any help. After a brief friendly talk you both continue on your separate ways.

My phone rang. So I answered it.

What does A duck smoke? Quack

The original "Chicken cross road" joke is a Anti joke in itself.

How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Her boyfriend used a condom left in his pants and then was washed. Making it defective and causing her her to become pregnant.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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