A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

Whats green and has 4 wheels? A green car.

Why wasn't the woman cooking in the kitchen? Both her hands had been cut off in a severe conveyor belt accident.

Why did the little boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken

A woman walks out of the kitchen, she gets slapped by her sexist husband.

Do you wanna hear a Ebola joke? You probably won't get it

Why do mexicans have so many children??? Because condoms resemble skinny balloons.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a strip club. They then realised that they are religious leaders and set an example for their respective religious communities and shouldn't be in a strip club and leave.

Your mom is so fat, when she sweats, it is more than the normal amount of sweat.

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back distinctly better at the Trumpet.

What do you call a guy who makes jokes about a girl being in the kitchen? Single.

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Unless you yourself put you trough that pain and misery, you have no reason to dislike or flee from who you are.

Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

Q. What did the fat guy get for his birthday? A. diabetes

Scene:restraunt Me:can I have a coke please? Waiter:sorry we don't have any, is Pepsi ok? Me:is monopoly money ok?

It burns when I pee sometimes.

Knock Knock whose there your biological parents REALLY No

Q: How many 3 go into the number 102,351? A: Yes.

Your mother is so fat. But I'm fine with it.

Why was the kid happy? Because it was his birthday.

What did the priest say to Jesus when he revealed himself on Christmas morning? Happy birthday

What's the difference between a cake and Jews? A cake comes out of the oven.

Roses are red, But ravens are black, please go to China, and never come back!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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