You can buy me a rose, and if I love roses, that rose would make me happy, you can buy me a large house by the ocean, but if I do not like big empty spaces and dislike the sea, it would make me sad. I am no longer sure what would make me happy, so no.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

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Keep up the fun Nero!

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

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What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 has been charged on 3 accounts of 2nd degrees murder and 6 fears for his life.

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Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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whats the difference between chuck norris and a normal human being? nothing

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What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

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why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

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A seal walks into a club.

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Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

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There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

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knock knock who's there police

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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What do you call a black man? Jamal

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I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

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How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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