Why cant you find your handle? Because YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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Hi.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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Hey, you want to hear an anti-joke? yeah, sure. .....well, too bad!

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

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A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

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your mama so dumb her iq point is below average

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Ask me If I'am a tree are u a tree? no.....

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Ay Bee Cee Dee Ey Ef Gee Haych Eye Jay Kay El Em En Ow Pee Queue Our Es Tee You Vee Doubleyou Ex Why Zed Now you know your ABC, come along and sing with me!

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Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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Why did Jimmy go to the doctor? He had just been hit by a semi truck and his legs were severed. He died later that night.

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why are black people so good at basketball? Because they can shoot steal and run and they keep brass knuckles in there waste band.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A gay kid and a group of his friends are at the park. Gay: hey can you do a cartwheel? Girl: helllll no! Gay: Are you straight? Girl: Yah? Gay: Im gay and i can do one.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What's Casey Anthony doing now that she's not in prison? She's actually living life as an upstanding citizen in Florida.

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What is small, black, and loved by children? An oreo.

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What killed the cat? Feline Leukemia

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Why can't Hank drive? Hank is a stone.

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How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

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How many cats get hit by a car per day How ever many cats you can find

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What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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