What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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What do you call a black man? Jamal

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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knock knock who's there police

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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Where is Madeline McCann? 6 Feet under....

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Weiner

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

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A man is writing with a #2 pencil. He looks down and sees that it says "Made in China." He shrugs and continues writing

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The Cubs are going to win the world series this year

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jewish people aren't edible.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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do you want to hear a joke 123456789 987654321 boo!

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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So i can type anything in this box and it shows up on the website?

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't because it had died from an uncaring mother and father that dumped it's corps on the side of the highway.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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What do you call Americas first black president? A change.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops