An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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The white supremisist woman with anxiety dialed the suicied help hot line. The operator that answered was clearly African-American. She then hung up the phone and continued to call back and try again.

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Cavan keely's the type of guy who drives past hilltown screaming GET IT THE VAN!!

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so a horse walks into a bar right, and he goes up to the bartender, and the bartender being a smartass says why the long face(get because hes a horse), and the horse says his wife is dying of lung cancer, child services are taking his kids away , and im addicted to crack and that is why i have a long face the bartender then gives him the next round for free and the the horse dies of alchohol poisoning

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How do you avoid dying? You can't everything dies.

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(Family sat down at table) *Child goes to start a story* - "I have a ginger friend.." Everyone bursts out laughing and leaves the child confused.

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Proof reading

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I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

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Emily Brunelle is skinny

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Why was the kid happy? Because it was his birthday.

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Whats funnier than 24? Adam Sandler.

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Where's my shotgun

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Why didn't the man finish his dinner? His dinner was a wheelchair.

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How are a grape and a duck alike? They're both purple... except for the duck.

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what did batman say to robin before he got in the batmobile get in the batmobile

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A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

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Wats worse than bitting into apple and finding a worm Bitting into an apple and finding an alligator

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what do you call a black man in prison? justice.

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This is a haiku I said this is a haiku You read a haiku

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The Pope

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A man got a promotion at work. Now he makes more money.

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What did one homo say to the other? Well, the politically correct term is homosexual, and he didn't say anything because they've never met.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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26 because if 25 is funnier than 24, 26 should be even funnier right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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