How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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Watch your lips.

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Why did Chad find dead people all over the playground? Ask him, it's not like he's pointing a gun at your face.

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

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What did the man say halfway through his sponsored trek across the Sahara desert? Well this was a dumb idea

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

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Your mom is so fat, that it causes great concern for her family.

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Q: What do you call a black hitchhiker? A: A hitchhiker

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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what's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies? nothing, they're both overused anti jokes.

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Two gay men enjoy a wonderful second date together.

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A Jew walks into a bar The bar owner looks at a gang of punks in the back and shouts "YOU! GET OUT!" The Jew leaves the bar.

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Your mom is so ugly that she decided to work as a prostitute and she died a virgin.

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why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

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The awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it dinosaur.

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What did the Man say to the elephant Nothing this man does not speak, the elephant does though

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what do you watch ? a tv

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Q: Why did the Mexican jump over the fence? A: He went to go retrieve the ball that was kicked in his neighbor's yard. Afterwords, he continued playing soccer with his friends.

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Who's a looser and has no friends??? Max!!! His address is 2131 HighHills Narrow...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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