What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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two biscuits rolling down a hill one says, " where you from" the other replied "im not telling you, youl steal my washing"

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- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

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What's Pink And Fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and therefore could not see well without the help of glasses.

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what red black and white al over? a t.v I was kidding about the red part

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How old is your mom? Old.

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Baby you think i loved you, but you got played too

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there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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Watch your lips.

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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Why did Chad find dead people all over the playground? Ask him, it's not like he's pointing a gun at your face.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

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What did the man say halfway through his sponsored trek across the Sahara desert? Well this was a dumb idea

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Q: What do you call a black hitchhiker? A: A hitchhiker

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

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Your mom is so fat, that it causes great concern for her family.

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A Jew walks into a bar The bar owner looks at a gang of punks in the back and shouts "YOU! GET OUT!" The Jew leaves the bar.

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what's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies? nothing, they're both overused anti jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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