What do you call a baby in a blender? The newest Doritos dip.

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

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How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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How do you feed a mockingbird? Give it some food.

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

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Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

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Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

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Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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Q: What is the difference between everything and nothing? A: everything! Moral: NOTHING!

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Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

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two biscuits rolling down a hill one says, " where you from" the other replied "im not telling you, youl steal my washing"

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and therefore could not see well without the help of glasses.

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What's Pink And Fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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what red black and white al over? a t.v I was kidding about the red part

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How old is your mom? Old.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Baby you think i loved you, but you got played too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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