Why did the man have blood on his finger? Because he popped a pimple

thumb_up thumb_down +23

When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

You can buy me a rose, and if I love roses, that rose would make me happy, you can buy me a large house by the ocean, but if I do not like big empty spaces and dislike the sea, it would make me sad. I am no longer sure what would make me happy, so no.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the man say to his wife at the funeral. Nothing, he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 has been charged on 3 accounts of 2nd degrees murder and 6 fears for his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them..

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats the difference between chuck norris and a normal human being? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's big, yellow and green? The sun, i was kidding about the green

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Keep up the fun Nero!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

knock knock who's there police

thumb_up thumb_down +19

There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops