What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

Why did little Tommy sink to the bottom of the pool? He had no arms.

What do you get after putting bread in a toaster? -Toast.

what's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies? nothing, they're both overused anti jokes.

Society.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting cancer from a horse.

what said the girl when the roof collapsed over her nothing she died

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The Holocaust. And also cancer.

Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

How many WOMEN does it take to change a light bulb? YOU ALREADY KNOW ITS GONNA BE MORE THAN ONE!

What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? heart worms

why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

What is better than a car made of gold? Anything you consider to be better than a car made of gold.

A small boy called peter got stuck up a tree, a man walks past and said "how did you get up there?" peter replies "i fell"

What happened to the little boys house? It burned down. How did the boy die? In the fire.

Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

Your mom was diagnosed with aids. Her prognosis was 6 months....clearly this joke is about the Holocaust.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, Mitchell ate it before it could do so.

Question: What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian at the grocery store? Answer: Will that be paper or plastic?

what did the blind man say as he past the fish market? he asked one of the fisherman if they had any fresh catch that day and bout three tuna steaks for his wife and son

Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

A child with cancer grows up.

When do scientologists go to church? When they are done looking at porn.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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