A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jewish people aren't edible.

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I lost my tractor.

How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

How do you stop a bus You throw a fridge at it

a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

no

Yo mama is so fat she went on a diet and lost weight.

Why doesnt the ladder work? A ladder is an inaminent object therefore imcapable of having a job.

What's worse than having amnesia? I don't remember.

No. Yes.

What did the black cat say to the tabby cat?? Meow

What sauce do chicken's hate? Bone suckin' sauce

what do you do when a dog bites your ear off? you see that you are bleeding then you scream.

Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvatore Dali mistook them for clocks.

Why'd the first koala fall out of the tree? He died. Why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first koala. Why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game. Why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? He thought he was a koala. Why'd the boy fall off the swing? He was hit by 3 koalas and a refrigerator. Why'd the boy fall off his bike? He had no arms or legs

I work for a Jewish Carpenter. He pays me minimum wage.

Knock Knock Who's there Nobody is here. This is just a feeble attempt of your subconsious to convince yourself you have someone who cares about you in the least bit to mask the horrible wretched pain of loneliness and suffering that is the enternal damnation of your life.

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

Question: What is black and white and read all over? Guess: A newspaper? Answer: No. A zebra that was shot by a poacher. Poaching is a serious problem all over the world and should be looked down upon by all. It is not something to joke about.

What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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