What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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Q: What is the difference between everything and nothing? A: everything! Moral: NOTHING!

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Baby you think i loved you, but you got played too

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How old is your mom? Old.

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there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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What's Pink And Fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and therefore could not see well without the help of glasses.

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what red black and white al over? a t.v I was kidding about the red part

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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Watch your lips.

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Why did Chad find dead people all over the playground? Ask him, it's not like he's pointing a gun at your face.

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

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What did the man say halfway through his sponsored trek across the Sahara desert? Well this was a dumb idea

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A Jew walks into a bar The bar owner looks at a gang of punks in the back and shouts "YOU! GET OUT!" The Jew leaves the bar.

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Two gay men enjoy a wonderful second date together.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

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Your mom is so ugly that she decided to work as a prostitute and she died a virgin.

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Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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