"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

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Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?.....Why the **** do you care?

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Why did the Jewish boy grab his groin? Because he was just circumcised.

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I like apples. So does Mr. Johnson from the local fruit stand.

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How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

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Whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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what do get when you blend zebra, a cow and a walrus? A not very good smoothie

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

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A man was getting surgery on his knee and the surgeon accidentally left a knife in his leg. The man's leg was severely infected and he proceeded to die in the following weeks. His family will mourn this loss for years to come.

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Why didn't little billy have any friends? Billy bought a rifle, and shot everyone he had ever seen or talked to, even his family. Billy then tripped on his walk home and fell off a bridge, and into the ocean. Then a shark came and swallowed him. That is why you should never kill your friends and family because it will come back and bite you. Don't be like billy

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A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

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What sounds really bad? An accordion.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face? No slap her bum!

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Person 1: You know whats funny? Person 2: No! What? Person 1: A joke!

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Knock, Knock ..... ..... No one is home, they've been evicted.

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Knock, Knock Who's There A dyslexic kid with aides

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What do you call a prison inmate with no arms or legs? John. That's his name.

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Whats worse then any minority? inter-minority breeding.

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I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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How do you get 100 illegal immigrants into a furnace? Tell 'em it's England.

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And the winner of Miss America 2050 is... Britney Spears!

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Bob and his family were looking forward to going to an all inclusive holiday to Spain. When they got on the plane, a bomb went off, causing Bob to realise that he was never going to see his family again, and that they were about to suffer a horrific, painful death.

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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