What did the cricket say to the bear when it entered it's den? Nothing,crickets comunicate by rubbing their back legs together to create vibrations and sound,and it cannot be understood by any other animal besides crickets.

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what do you call a retarded kid? jack kamstra

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Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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Why do gay guys like push pops? Because they are a delicious lollipop treat.

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the meaning of life is too burn calories so I burnt a fat kid?

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

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Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

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Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

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knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

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What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

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Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

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what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

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An Asian Woman is late and is driving her car very fast to her daughters wedding. She arrives at a reasonable time to witness the whole event.

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why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my D***

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jelly ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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Knock Knock Who's there Nobody is here. This is just a feeble attempt of your subconsious to convince yourself you have someone who cares about you in the least bit to mask the horrible wretched pain of loneliness and suffering that is the enternal damnation of your life.

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Two guys go hunting and one of them aims the sniper at the other guy's house and says "I see your wife's cheating on you again with another man" he replies "I've had it with her, shoot him in the privates and shoot her in the mouth" the friend says "I'll get that in one shot".

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How do you make a black man sad? You kill and mutilate his family maliciously

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What do you call a women in the kitchen? A caterer

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When does George Harrison take a shit? In the morning

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the gay guys house. Knock Knock! Who's there? The chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops