What did the German say when the whole of India blew up: "Wow, das muss eine gewaltige Explosion haben! Wie haben sie das geschafft?"

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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Whats Black and blue My wife after i beat her ass.

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"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

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A Palestinian and an Israeli both board a plane at the same time. They exchange awkward glances and take seats at different ends of the plane.

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Knock knock who's there? Hi! where from the church of latter day saints!

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how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

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Four Iraqis played hide and seek 17 years ago, one of them missing, why? he's still hiding.

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What happens when you drop the soap in Prison? You pick it back up and go about your business.

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Why did the airplane crash? It was hit by a flying refrigerator.

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how many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb just 2 but it beats me how they got in there

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My life :(

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Q: What has 1 eye and half of a pig's snout? A: A pig peeking around a corner.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get hit by a car

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What do you get when you cross a zebra and a panda? Well, pandas are almost extinct. I guess they gave up and started goin' with zebras.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The Holocaust.

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a man walks into a bar....... thats it.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Flappy Bird is no where near as annoying as you!

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What happens when you try to hand feed a shark You have one less hand

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What's the same about eggnog and a computer? You can search the web. Except that's only true for one of them.

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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3 penguins meet each other in penguin #1's backyard for a pool party. The first penguin climbs up the steps of the water slide gets to the top, looks around and then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The second penguin climbs up the steps, looks around then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The third penguin hastily climbs the steps and slides down the slide radio -Soulbroker

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Q: What did one dog say to the other dog? A: "Bitch!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators come in an assortment of colors

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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