Why did the house burn down? Because I set it on fire.

What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

What do you call a gay woman who likes to smoke cigarettes? A lesbian with a possible nicotine addiction.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What's the square root of 69? 8.3

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

Q: What do you call a black hitchhiker? A: A hitchhiker

Watch your lips.

Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

a man walks into horse bar

Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

Why did the mexican jump when he heard police sirens? The sirens where very lound and abrupt. Therefore startling this mexican man.

Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

Why do black people like Basketball so much? Because it is a sport participated world wide. They just happen to like it too.

Two gay men enjoy a wonderful second date together.

Your mom is so ugly that she decided to work as a prostitute and she died a virgin.

why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm about to kill you Don't scream, here's a lollipop

What did the man say halfway through his sponsored trek across the Sahara desert? Well this was a dumb idea

Why did the cat eat the cupcake? Cause he was hungry.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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