What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

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Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

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Yo mama's so fat she couldn't ride on roller coasters with you in Disney world. Sometimes you wish you could share more fond memories with her.

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

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*spongebob voice* 25

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What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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How old is your mom? Old.

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I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

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Neither does he.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Baby you think i loved you, but you got played too

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Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Bailiffs.

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Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

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How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

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save water shower with friends

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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There are two hippopotamus' in a pond cooling off from the hot day. One is named Nathaniel IV and the other Timothy. Timothy asks Nathaniel, "Nathaniel, what day is it today?" Nathaniel then replies," I believe it is Tuesday." Timothy is taken back then replies," How odd. I could've sworn it was Wednesday."

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Me: Hey, Johnny! Do you see that Tree? Johnny: No. Me: Neither do I.

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Why grannies do not buy a menstrual pads? Cause they will never have their period anymore.

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Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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