A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

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Why did the gorilla fall on the ground Because it was dead

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Chuck Norris' punch is so powerful that is falls on the downward slope of the bell curve for punch force of adult males.

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I had sex. Just kidding.

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A man goes to his doctor and his doctor says, "I've got good news and bad news, which do you want first?" The man says, "The good news." The doctor says, "You were supposed to say the bad news, now you've ruined the joke."

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What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

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An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

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Sam alexander is also r8 g4y

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how do you confuse a blond?

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What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

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What do you call women playing the sport of lacrosse? I dont think it matters because Women's Lacrosse isn't a sport.

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What's worse than losing the remote Finding it in your ass hole

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There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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What do you call a black man with no education? An unfortunate outcome of our meritocratic society.

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what glows blue and howls at the moon at midnight? I dont know but i had sex with your mother.

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penis

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Why don't women need watches? Because they probably have a cell phone, which works just as well.

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What did the cat say to the dog? - meow!

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

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What do you call a person with an arrow in their head? Dead

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what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops