Two muffins are in an oven. It was a really small batch.

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

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Q: Do you know what really makes me smile? A: Facial Muscles.

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What's worse than being held hostage? Waking up and finding dick your mouth

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Why didn't Jim go to the party? He wasn''t invited.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Knock knock, Who's there? To get to the other side

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what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after A-N-A-L

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why was the boy sad? because he was raped by a clown.

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Cavan keely's the type of guy who drives past hilltown screaming GET IT THE VAN!!

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A priest walks into a bakers and asks for a loaf of bread , the baker asks "white or brown" the priest replies "it does not matter Sir I have my bike outside".

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What did the blonde do when she missed bus 40? She waited 30 minutes for it to come back around again.

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Why are they the "living" daylights?

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?.....Why the **** do you care?

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How many fools does it take to change a light bulb? A lot.

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Why did the Jewish boy grab his groin? Because he was just circumcised.

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How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

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call me a bitch You're a bitch Only bitches do what they are told!

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I like apples. So does Mr. Johnson from the local fruit stand.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

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what do get when you blend zebra, a cow and a walrus? A not very good smoothie

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Whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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A man was getting surgery on his knee and the surgeon accidentally left a knife in his leg. The man's leg was severely infected and he proceeded to die in the following weeks. His family will mourn this loss for years to come.

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Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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