How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

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Why did the samurai commit Sepuku? Because it is an honorable Japanese tradition.

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A man walks into a bar and takes his seat. After a minute, someone shouts "133!" and this is followed by a couple of slight chuckles around the room. Later, "57!" is heard from the corner, followed by harsh laughter. After a while, someone shouts "66!" which is met by an uproar of uncontrollable laughter. The man, confused by the evening's events, asks the barmam what is going on. The barman explains, every joke has been told countless times so instead of reciting them, they are numbered and people call out the numbers. The man catches on to this, and therefore shouts "453!" which is followed by a deadly silence, because no one had heard that particular joke before, so 453 was just a number to them.

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What did the fish say when it hit the wall? "Dam."

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So the docter saw the girl had a "M" on her chest during surgery. He asked her if he had a boyfreind from Michigan. She said "no, but i have a girlfreind from winsconsin, why do u ask?"rf

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A Palestinian and an Israeli both board a plane at the same time. They exchange awkward glances and take seats at different ends of the plane.

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this is the part where we na na na na every good song needs a na na na na wake up at night screaming na na na na my grandmothers nickname is nana

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why did the bear go into the woods to get shot

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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Q:theres a man on a tight rope 3000 feet above ground and theres a man getting head from a 90 year old women with no teath. what did they both say? A: dont look down.

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Q: Why did the prostitute have no arms? A: Because she was an amputee.

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Why did the tomato blush? Because it began to ripen.

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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whats young and never moved? still born baby

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Good friends enjoying a summer activity.

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Why do black people log onto blackpeoplemeet.com? To meet black people.

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Recent US presidents (and their accompanying economy)

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A blind man walks into a bar. Then a chair. Then a table. (TD)

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Why was the black guy mad at the white guy? Duh, cause the black guy slapped the white guy.

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hi im paul ! im an alien :D tyuioyt5rtyuikfuhgdehjdhfghjhgfjjhfjfjdjdjd i pe out of my finger :D

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocost

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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