A man is training his dog. He tells the dog to sit. The dog sits. "Good boy!" said the man. The dog did not thank the man for the compliment because dogs cannot speak.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm your stalker, welcome to my deserted warehouse.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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What did the cancer patient do during Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair"? -Nothing.

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why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it was hit and killed by a vehicle, much like all animals that try and cross roads. created by KA

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How do you drown a blond? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool!

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Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

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Why did the girl jump? Because she was on a trampoline.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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What has legs but can't walk? A paralyzed man.

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how do make you a child cry? break his fingers

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Q: Little black thing with a little red thing on it. What is it?! A: Ant with a broken nose...

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What do people in Asia do for black history month? Nothing, black history month is an American thing.

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What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

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What's red and has a mask ? Blood, I lied about the mask.

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How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

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what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

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one day four teenage boys started doing drugs. They jumped off a cliff and died.

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Penis in a butthole. Consentual Sex.

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why couldent Hellen Keller drive? Because shes a woman.

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there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

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Garry Glitters on here

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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person 1: Did you hear about the black man that went to college? Person 2: no i haven't Person 1: either have I What's ironic is that they are both black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops