There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did the Jewish boy grab his groin? Because he was just circumcised.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?.....Why the **** do you care?

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How many fools does it take to change a light bulb? A lot.

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I like apples. So does Mr. Johnson from the local fruit stand.

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How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

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Michal j. fox has Parkinsons disease. He is tired of losing at jenga

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Whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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A man was getting surgery on his knee and the surgeon accidentally left a knife in his leg. The man's leg was severely infected and he proceeded to die in the following weeks. His family will mourn this loss for years to come.

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"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

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Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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knock knock who's there Alec Baldwin I just raped your children ..........

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I enjoy vagina. While you enjoy penis in your mouth. Just remember God hates fags. :)

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What do you call a prison inmate with no arms or legs? John. That's his name.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face? No slap her bum!

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Person 1: You know whats funny? Person 2: No! What? Person 1: A joke!

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Knock, Knock Who's There A dyslexic kid with aides

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Why didn't little billy have any friends? Billy bought a rifle, and shot everyone he had ever seen or talked to, even his family. Billy then tripped on his walk home and fell off a bridge, and into the ocean. Then a shark came and swallowed him. That is why you should never kill your friends and family because it will come back and bite you. Don't be like billy

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A blonde and a brunette are out for drinks. The brunette goes home early as she has to be up the next day.

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What sounds really bad? An accordion.

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What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

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What does rainbow stand for? Rick Astley Is Nesting By Our Window to harass us

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Whats worse then any minority? inter-minority breeding.

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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