Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic eye chart maker? His disability caused to him to have a difficult time at work and his production suffered because of this.

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What smells like peanut butter but looks like a penis? A penis, I lied about the peanut butter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

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Nickelback ranked number 1 as greatest rock band according to rolling stones magazine!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller see or hear? She was blind and deaf.

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Thats impossible because he cannot walk.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 4 and 5 then raped 10

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Why did Thomas miss school? Because he was sick

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A:Your so fat that you take up the hole room B:If i am fat,Then i can crush you down thin head!

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What did the blind man get for Christmas? Poison.

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What's the difference between dead babies and Christmas lights? I don't have Christmas lights hanging on my Christmas tree...

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Two penguins were taking a bath. One said "pass the soap." The second penguin replied, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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You are in England which has a law about not moving traffic when these idk some kinda swans cross the road. You see a fat woman in a car and she is waiting for the swans to cross the road and she can't drive the car else she would get in trouble by law. What do you do? Feed her

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why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it was hit and killed by a vehicle, much like all animals that try and cross roads. created by KA

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Two tubes of ice cream are sitting in a freezer, one turns to the other and says "its bloody freezing in here" God then corrects this apparent mistake in the combined laws of physics and biology

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what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

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I can Nazi

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Bloody kids ...

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Two men are sitting on the couch watching sports, the first man farts, the second chuckles. They continue watching their program.

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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How do you stop a black guy from drowning? You take your foot off of his face

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When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops