What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

Chuck Norris died.

What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

Obama

Two rocks are in the playground. Nothing happens, because rocks are not sentient beings and are thus incapable of producing any sort of activity on their own.

Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

There are two hippopotamus' in a pond cooling off from the hot day. One is named Nathaniel IV and the other Timothy. Timothy asks Nathaniel, "Nathaniel, what day is it today?" Nathaniel then replies," I believe it is Tuesday." Timothy is taken back then replies," How odd. I could've sworn it was Wednesday."

Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

I tell an anti joke!.

What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Thats impossible because he cannot walk.

Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

SCHNARRRRRR!!!!!

Yeah, I never intended to keep that a secret. What is autocast?

Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

What's Brown and sticky? A stick!

Why didn't the monkey fall out of the tree when someone threw a refrigerator at it? Because it was already lying on the floor dying of AIDS.

A Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a hispanic............... i forgot.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? KFC was on the other side

Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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