A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

What sauce do chicken's hate? Bone suckin' sauce

that awkward moment when your teachers a duck

What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware? Get in the boat.

why did the boy drop his ice-cream? because he got hit by a bus

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

do you wanna hear a joke about pizza? sure. naw,its too cheesy

Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana. Go away.

who smells? •Liam

Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

Knock knock. Who's there? Mark. Oh Hai Mark

Fine, Nero7 made sure I got to a safe place at least. My code is "Eliza", that is all, please provide me with whatever information you can regarding what happened, and while I read you are not shy of graphical detail, I ask that you keep it lightly, Nero7 meant much to me, please. -"Veronica.

What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

Knoc nock whos dere ronnie turiaf...... Ronnie turiaf who Dennis rodman

What do you call an amazing, funny, beautiful, nice, goreous, stunning girl? Adena Gabrysiak <3

penis

Racism is like black people... It should not exists...

we sat at the table and began to say graceme my sister, me and my mom we bowed our heads and closed our eyes and said grace we lifted our heads and opend our eyes and the food was gone my mom was gone and the chocolate in my pocket was gone (i wonder who did it lol)

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

There were three people on a plane, the plane crashed and they all died.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What do you call a black person born in America? American.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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