knock knock? whos there? eatmop. eatmopwho? HAHAHAH EAT MY POO

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Art.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

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Q.What did the anti-joke reader say to the doctor? A-My finger is stuck on the dislike button.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I'm sorry your brother died

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Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shot in the face by a shotgun that shoots fireworks that explodes into chainsaw bullets.

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What did the father say to his daughter? "I'm going to rape you."

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What did the man say to the horse in the bar? Nothing, communication requires listening and comprehension which horses cannot process in their brains. If anything the man said it at the horse, not to him.

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A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

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what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

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knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

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What happened when Aladdin rubbed his lamp? It got slightly cleaner.

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What did the cheerleader get on Holloween? Raped.

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Q: What's fat and smelly? Q: What's worse than Nikki Manaj? Q: What's the bane of everyone and everything's existence? A: Kim Kardashian

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I like my women like I like my coffee, without a dick

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A Holocaust survivor.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. But it wasn't as good as he had hoped it would be.

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Hey youknow what's funny???? Jokes

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what would you like to drink?". The horse, unable to comprehend english, just nods and proceeds to shit on the floor

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An Irish priest molested many children. He's still free today

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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