Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why did the jew die Really...

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Take off your shoes.

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What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Im Really Stoned And you have met with a terrible fate haven't you?

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How do you blindfold and Asian? By using a sturdy bandanna, cloth, any other object to avert ones view.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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marshal sterio had sex

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myspace

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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Two men walked into a bar. The third transformed into a duck and flew away.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

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Miley Cyrus is Twerk Queen

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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There are two hippopotamus' in a pond cooling off from the hot day. One is named Nathaniel IV and the other Timothy. Timothy asks Nathaniel, "Nathaniel, what day is it today?" Nathaniel then replies," I believe it is Tuesday." Timothy is taken back then replies," How odd. I could've sworn it was Wednesday."

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How many WOMEN does it take to change a light bulb? YOU ALREADY KNOW ITS GONNA BE MORE THAN ONE!

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What did Pikachu tell Ash? "Pikachu."

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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