Q: What's white, sticky, and is swallowed by most women? A: Ice Cream

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When I see Debra walking her dog in the morning I often ask myself whose walking who!?

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? names

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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Why did sally break her arm? A piano fell on her

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

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Why did Sam have no friends? Because he was dead.

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What do you call a black priest? Religious.

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There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count to potato and those who can't.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

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Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The inter- You have cancer

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why did Max cry??? chicken

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

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Why did Sally Drop here ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock Knock? *who's there* Not Sally.

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A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

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Why was Bootylatrice tardy for school? -She overslept.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

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Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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What's the difference between a plum and a bunny? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops